A Guide to Christian Funeral Traditions and Etiquette

Introduction

For Christians, who believe in the afterlife, funerals are about helping their loved ones with achieving eternal peace in Heaven. The gatherings, customs, and rituals following bereavement are also focused on supporting those in grief and giving them a chance to mourn and farewell their loved ones. While different Christian denominations can differ in their approaches, these are some of the rituals and etiquette common to most denominations. 

Preparation of the body

The deceased is washed before dress and burial as Christians believe it’s important to be clean before one arrives at the Kingdom of Heaven. Once cleaned and dressed, the funeral director will place the deceased in a casket with his/her hands crossed across the chest, sometimes with a prayer book or rosary placed in the hands. This echoes the process of receiving Communion. 

Wake

The wake or vigil is a modern version of the ancient practice of keeping watch over the body until burial. Today, it’s about acknowledging grief and loss of the deceased. It can take place a few days before the funeral or sometimes on the day. During the gathering, family and friends share memories, recite prayers, read scriptures, and sing hymns. A eulogy is also common. The wake usually takes place at the funeral home, at the bereaved’s family home, or at a Christian church. 

Loved ones may display flowers, photos, and other mementoes, along with the deceased’s body, in the casket, to recognise their passing. The casket may be open or closed depending on preference. The wake could include an opportunity for a viewing or visitation so loved ones can visit the body of the deceased. This could, alternatively, occur after the funeral service and before the burial.

Funeral service

Christian funeral services usually take place around a week after the deceased’s passing. They may last around 45 minutes to one hour. During a Christian funeral service, it’s also traditional to recite prayers, read scriptures, sing hymns, and give a eulogy. The priest or minister will give a sermon or homily, to provide hope and sympathy for the bereaved and express insights on the Christian view of death. 

This view centres on the idea that those who make their transition in faith will have eternal life with God. The priest or minister will also read passages from the Bible. Some Christian funerals will include a mass when a priest or minister delivers the Eucharist Prayer and Holy Communion. After the funeral service, attendees leave for the gravesite for the burial. 

Burial

At a Christian burial, the priest or minister leads a service at the site of the grave. He/she will recite prayers when the casket is lowered into the grave and committed. The burial gives family and friends of the deceased an opportunity to make their final farewells, which can include prayers, speeches, and leaving flowers or some dirt on the casket. The priest or minister may perform the Rite of Committal to conclude the burial.

In the Christian world, burials are preferred over cremations, though the church suggests ashes should be buried instead of scattered. While in earlier times cremation was considered blasphemous, today it’s increasingly accepted. 

Reception

Following a Christian funeral, it’s customary for family members to hold a reception or wake for everyone who attended the funeral. Catering may be provided or guests may be asked to bring a plate of food. Attendees will offer their condolences and express support for the bereaved. 

Dress code

Smart, conservative clothing in black and other dark colours are traditional when dressing for Christian funerals. The mood is usually sombre and serious, and generally, the congregation remains quiet during the service. However, at the wake and reception attendees are free to mingle and spend more time offering their condolences to the bereaved.

Gifts

Those attending a Christian funeral may give sympathy gifts but are not expected to. A card and a bunch of flowers is an appropriate way to express your support and condolences. Lilies, roses, carnations, and chrysanthemums are suitable options. Other appropriate gifts include plants, food, memorial jewellery, charitable donations in their name, gift certificates, and framed photos. 

Rites

Traditional Christian rites at funerals include the offering of prayers, a eulogy, Bible passages, and burial in consecrated ground. It’s also common for Christian funerals to include the singing of hymns.

Music

Christian funerals typically feature music such as organ playing, singing, or instrumental music. This usually occurs at the start of the funeral service, after the blessing, and when the coffin is carried outside for burial. The gathering may play or sing popular songs and hymns to celebrate the life of the deceased, express love and grief, and reflect on their passing. Music can also be featured following burial during the final blessing. 

Conclusion

Christian funerals usually involve specific elements like the wake, funeral service, and burial, but they can also be highly personalised to reflect the preferences of the deceased and the bereaved. From the preparation of the body to the burial and reception, the focus is on honouring, remembering, and respecting the deceased. Even as the congregation gathers to celebrate his/her life, their prayers can support the deceased with getting into Heaven and achieving eternal peace. For the bereaved, the various gatherings and ceremonies can give strength and comfort and help them with the grieving process.